If your team is underperforming and you’ve tried every management trick in the book—pep talks, Slack nudges, weekly check-ins—and nothing’s working, maybe the problem isn’t them. Maybe it’s you.
You can’t micromanage or strong-arm your way out of a performance slump if you’re not leading by example. “But I’m the leader, of course I’m leading by example!” you might say. Sure, but are you actually modeling the behavior you expect from your team? A good leader is humble enough to check their own habits first.
Strong project managers lead from the front. When you show up consistently, take ownership, and stay human along the way, your team will follow.
Show, Don’t Just Tell
Remember that old middle school English lesson, “show, don’t tell”? Leadership works the same way.
Not many like being told what to do. Watching someone model confidence, clarity, and calm in the middle of a mess is inspiring. If you want your team to de-escalate with tact, don’t roll your eyes in meetings. If you want them to be reliable, follow through on your own commitments, especially the small ones.
Your behavior is magnified in a leadership role. That quick shrug-off or missed follow-up might seem minor to you, but your team files it under: “Guess that deadline wasn’t a big deal after all.” That adds up, and over time, those little cracks in your credibility start eroding trust, morale, and quality of work.
What Leading by Example Actually Looks Like
Here are some tips to evaluate your leadership and strengthen your impact:
- Walk the Talk to Build Trust
Ever heard someone say, “That’s the rule, but no one actually does it”? That’s a leadership failure. If you don’t model what’s expected, no one else will take it seriously.
If you set a rule, follow it. Be consistent. Follow through, especially with your own team. Trust is built in the small moments.
- Set the Tone to Shape Team Culture
Your team reflects you. If they seem disengaged, chaotic, or unclear, it’s probably not just a “them” problem. Own your role. Provide clarity. Offer respect. The tone you set becomes the culture you create.
- Take Accountability to Encourage Honesty
Trying to look perfect all the time will backfire. Your team isn’t stupid—they know you make mistakes. What they care about is whether you own them. Admit what you don’t know. Ask for input. Give credit.
Accountability creates psychological safety, and when people feel safe, innovation thrives.
- Get in the Trenches to Boost Morale
During crunch time, your team wants to know you’ve got their back and are willing to put in the work alongside them. Optics matter, and your team should feel your presence. You don’t need to be the hero in a cape, but maybe be the one who brings coffee and jumps in on testing.
- Model Active Listening to Improve Communication
No team thrives on half-baked communication. Practice active listening by asking clarifying questions and resisting the urge to rush through status updates.
You can’t solve what you don’t understand, and your team won’t speak up if they don’t think you’re listening.
- Stay Calm to Build Resilience
When things break (and they will), your team will look to you. If you spiral, morale tanks. If you stay calm and solution-focused, they’ll mirror that resilience.
Leadership is tested when the weather is stormy. Show them they’re safe with you at the helm.
Leading by Example = Big Rewards Now & Later
The benefits of being a good leader will extend beyond the immediate benefits. It will create ripples through the rest of your career and set you up for longer-term success. When people know you’re reliable, fair, and consistent, you’ll earn a reputation that will lead to better opportunities and a positive legacy.
So if you want better outcomes with your team now and your career in the future, be a better model. Own your role, take accountability, be vulnerable and positive, listen and follow through on your commitments.
There are a lot of tips packed in here to help you evaluate your leadership, but don’t try to take them all on at once. Reflect on one way you can model better leadership this week, and start there.
Lead like someone’s watching, because they are!